rodlox (rodlox) wrote,
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Big Bang Theory ficlet: "the Convening Now"

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title: The Convening Now
summary: There's a big surprise for Sheldon Cooper and Amy Farrah Fowler - and boy is Penny amused.
spoilers: the first Christmas (Saturnalia) episode; and any episode with Sheldon's or Amy's mothers.

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"Hello, Sheldon, Amy," Penny said, standing just outside her apartment, greeting them as they came up the stairs.

"Good afternoon, Penny," Sheldon said. "Are you waiting for someone?"

"Not exactly," Penny said.

"Then why stand there?" Amy asked.

"Because I don't want to miss seeing all the fur flying."

"Oh," Sheldon said. "I thought you were aware that I have already paid for all of the cats to become the property of other people."

"Just take your girlfriend in for some water, Sheldon."

Sheldon sighed - almost theatrically, in Penny's opinion - and said, "Once more, Penny, Amy is not my -"

"You may not want to finish that sentence, Sheldon, given who're right behind you."

In Sheldon's experience, when Penny used that tone of voice, she also added a diminutive such as 'sweetie.' The absence here made him wary.

Amy spoke before he could, however. "One infers that you are speaking of the apartment behind us, as there is not anyone presently where the two of us were thirty seconds ago."

"Oh yeah," Penny said.

"Who is it?" Sheldon asked.

Penny's grin got bigger.

"Is this meant to intimidate us?" Amy asked Sheldon.

"Contextually, yes," Sheldon said. "While humans no longer use the baring of teeth as a means of challenging rivals to combat, Penny is using her ability to take delight in my discomfort as a source of amusement."

"I see."

"I'm not enjoying your discomfort, Sheldon," Penny said.

"So you say," Sheldon said.

"I'm just smiling at how you're going to explain all this to your mom."

Sheldon froze. "My. Mother. Is here?"

Penny nodded.

"Not a problem," Amy said. "Over the years, I've memorized the doctrinal creeds of every denomination of Christianity."

"Well that won't be a problem if she asks you a question then," Penny said.

Amy looked at her. "That is what I said."

"No, she's making a reference to Monty Python's Holy Grail," Sheldon said.

"That," Penny said, "and I was about to add that your mom's in there with Amy's."

"My mother?" Amy asked.

"Oh yeah."

"What did you do?"

"Me?" Penny asked.

"Who else would have brought her here?" Amy asked. "Is this owing to Sheldon?"

"What?" Penny asked.

"Are you secretly in love with Sheldon, and see me as the only obstacle to consumating your lustful passion for and with him?"

Penny looked at Amy, and finally said, "Amy?"

"Yes."

"Write down what you just said, and scratch it all out with a red magic marker."

"Ah, an education reference. You believe my entire question was false and without merit."

"Oh yeah. Oh, and Sheldon?" Penny asked.

"Yes, Penny?" Sheldon asked.

"Before I forget, Amy's mom brought a mohel with her."

"Uncle Ichabod," Amy said.

"That's him," Penny said. "They didn't tell me who he was going to bris, though."

Sheldon slowly turned from Penny to Amy.

"It may be possible," Amy allowed, "that my mother reacted more strongly than I believed she would."

"You told her Sheldon got you pregnant?" Penny asked. Who needs soaps, when I've got you guys.

"Not exactly," Sheldon said, suddenly feeling that he should have already checked to see if their mothers were sorority sisters.

"Want to hear my guess what's going to happen?" Penny asked.

Sheldon sighed. "It may prove informative, I suppose."

"You're going to wish you had just told Amy's mom that you were going to use one of her ova to make a little Leonard Nimoy. At least then, there wouldn't be any danger of, well, rocky mountain oyster harvesting."

Sheldon and Amy both wondered how much chatting Penny had done with their mothers.

"Wow," Penny said. "I finally get to see a shotgun wedding."

"That may be presuming," Amy said. "After all, my mother didn't bring my other uncle," Amy said.

"He wouldn't, perchance, be a Cardinal in the Catholic Church, would he?" Penny asked.

"He is," Amy said. "How did you know?"

"He just came up the stairs."

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the end
Tags: amy farrah fowler, big bang theory, big bang theory fanfiction, penny, sheldon cooper, the big bang theory, the big bang theory fanfiction
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